Go Figure (2005)

[00:00:03] This is a Bramble Jam Podcast Hi everybody, welcome to another episode of DCOM Descendants. I'm Bramble, that's Dan. Hi. Hello. Very excited today. We're talking Go Figure. Go Figure. Go Figure Skate. That's exactly right. A figure skating movie.

[00:00:33] Which we're gonna go do right after. Yeah! No, we love that. We love that you're getting it. From the ice. We're reporting on ice today. You can't see it. Brandon and I have a close-up on the camera. You can't see the rink behind us. It wasn't worth it really. No, no, no. It wasn't. Yeah, no. They've been teaching me once a week. That's right. Some figure skating moves. So I'm progressing. The toe loop, the south cow, the axle. Are all moves. Yep, all moves. Things I know from my days of figure skating.

[00:01:00] I once pitched doing the marathon on ice on Maine. Oh. Yes, I know you did. It was one of your worst pitches. No. Like we'd have to be there for 24 hours? Yeah. Yes. That's a terrible pitch. Outside on the ice. It's a bad pitch. I don't mind the outside. It's the ice of it all. It's like, why? Like what's the point? Because it's a challenge. Are you in figure skating? In October. Yes. The problem was that they don't have it set up in October. Yeah. That was the reason we didn't do that.

[00:01:26] But like are you just sitting like at a table on the ice like we are right now? Yeah. Or are you wearing figure skates skating for 24 hours? No, no, no, no. Because that's painful. We're sitting. We're doing what we normally do. It's just on ice. It's just on ice. But yeah, that sounds like personal health. Dana Brown on ice. No, I can't wear ice skates for longer than five minutes. There was an Olympics in my childhood. I think I was seven, maybe 1990, where I was very invested in the figure skating.

[00:01:52] And it was, I think Yamaguchi, but it was like a Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding. But it was like Paul Wiley and Brian Boyd. Tonic. Like I remember being six, seven and being like the USA has to take home. Like I, that is my, all of my knowledge of figure skating comes from my seven or eight year old self being invested in one winter Olympics of figure skating. So. Well, hey, you can get invested next year. Yeah. Next year. All of those references get more dated. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:02:22] And it's going to be. Where is it? Salt Lake. Saskatchewan. Is it back in Salt Lake? Where are the winter Olympics 2026? It is. Milano. Oh, that's right. In the Milano Cortana. Cortina D'Ampezzo. I got to be honest. I feel like somewhere they combined Milan and Cortina and like. Milana. And I was like, because I saw it somewhere and I was like, I've never heard of that location.

[00:02:51] I couldn't tell you where that is on a globe. It's in Italy. Italy. Okay. I couldn't tell you where Italy is on a globe either. Milan? Yeah. South of Europe? You didn't know Milan was in Italy? No. Never heard of Milan. I've heard of Mulan. The Disney classic. You've never heard of Milan? Never heard of Milan. Wow. What about Moulin Rouge? I have heard of that too. It's time for the delish. That's a prince. This is the part of the show where Aaron brings a.

[00:03:18] Something that is delicious and related to the movie thematically. Yep. Aaron, what do we have today? Today we have a little cocktail called the hockey stick. The hockey stick. I don't see a hockey stick in here. There's not. I found this really cool blog. This woman had challenged herself to create a cocktail for every day for a year. What a challenge. I mean, reading her, I did.

[00:03:45] Normally when I go to like a recipe blog, they always have like 18 paragraphs about how this is personal to them. Um, and I always skip those. Yeah. Jump to recipe. I clicked. Yeah. Jump to recipe. Uh, this one I read and it sounds like she's got young kids and this was just like a creative and. I mean, I'm going to drink every day with my kids. You doing okay over there? I mean, she sounded fine, but I was just like. Like if I make a cocktail. You do this every day.

[00:04:14] 365 days of the year, but it's for a blog, then I'm not. I don't have a problem. It just sounded like a fun, a fun. So this was. So I will say this was not inspired by Go Figure, if you can believe it. Um, it was inspired by her kids were really into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Okay. So this is inspired by, is it Casey? Casey, shout out the hockey stick. What's in this aside from orange juice? Very clearly orange juice.

[00:04:42] Honey, whiskey, and a dash of lemon juice. Okay. Why is it? So it's just called the hockey stick? Okay. That's just the time. I love that. Yeah. And here we are. Here we go. 9.15. Bottoms up. Everybody cheers. It's great. Big fan. Gosh, I love that. I don't love drinking at 9.15 in the morning. But if this was 9.15 in the evening, I would drink that. I love it.

[00:05:08] I sampled it and I was like, this could almost be like a competitor for a mimosa. I love it. I love it. And I'm going to the Dominican Republic and then I do drink in the morning because every hour is the same hour. Well, it doesn't count. It doesn't count. When you get down there, you just ask them for a hockey stick. I'll order a hockey stick and see how that goes for me. It's from the mom blog where she did it for you. It's from Casey, the mom blogger. Well, no. Casey is who it was inspired by. I'm going to start.

[00:05:34] Dan, you should start a blog where you challenge yourself to drink 20 beers every day. It's for a blog. It's for a blog. It's not a problem. 20 beers? Can I, if it's like, just like a, it's a Bud Select 55, I bet I could do it pretty easily. You have to up the ABV every day. Just a little bit. It's from yearofcocktails.com. Yearofcocktails.com. It's for the blog. It's for a blog. It's for the blog. There's nothing we can do. We subscribe to that mentality too.

[00:06:04] It's for the blog. It's very important to us. It's a very active blog. So active. And we do 90% of our bits for the blog. For the blog. Mainly for the blog. That's exactly right. You know what we don't have any bits for? What's that? Reviews. I don't know how that works. No bit. There's not a single bit of it. There's not a single bit of reviews. It's stuck at 159. 159 is where we're stuck. Do we have a bit for a commercial break? I'm going to start paying for reviews. How much should I pay for a review? None dollars. Maybe stickers?

[00:06:33] I don't know. I don't know. Do we have any decom stuff? We'll be right back here on decom. Descendants. I mean, we could. Just saying. Maybe if we said everybody who leaves a review gets a sticker, then maybe we'd get to 300. Yeah, but how do you do it? After they leave a review, are they emailing me their address? Yeah. That'd be the only way to do it. Is everybody enjoying this?

[00:07:02] Yeah, this is good stuff. It's a business meeting. We're doing a business meeting early. Well, I'm just trying to think of three ways to make you watch more. And I never want this show to end. That's part of it. We've got plenty of time left together, gang. I mean, we've got a couple years left together. We don't have to extend it. You're still going to see me around? What's important to know is that Dan, like if we don't get this. I don't know. It's not. The last time someone left the podcast, I never saw them again. It's not goodbye. Well, that's different. But they were gone before you got here, really. It's not goodbye. It's see you later is all I'm saying.

[00:07:31] We can say goodbye to this podcast in two years. You can. I think Aaron, you and I can keep doing it. We don't need Dan. True. We've had it for years, man. We do need you until the end of the deco. I mean, we can have a rotating. Yeah. But after that, we can have a rotating third chair. Rotating third chair. Do what you want, guys. You do you. I will. That's a problem for 2026-7. That's what that's a problem for. Let's get into Go Figure. Go Figure originally aired on the Disney Channel on June 10, 2005.

[00:08:01] Prime winter time. Yeah, exactly when you want. It was a June movie. It was a figure skating hockey combo. That's right. Written by Patrick J. Clifton. And Beth Ragazio. And directed by. What a great duo. A great duo. Directed by Francine McDougal. Francine McDougal. McDougal, an Australian film director. McDougal. Was this movie filmed in Australia? I wonder. If they brought it to the McDougal, why would you not? It probably was filmed down there, right?

[00:08:31] She also directed Cowbells, by the way. So not the last time we'll see McDougal. Cowbells is the name of a deco. Yeah, it is. There we go. Good to know. Starring? Cowbells. Allie and AJ. Allie and AJ. Whatever, guys. Oh, boy. If you say them enough times, you think they'll become something, and they just won't. I got to be honest. I think it's the rush that we get when we think about Allie and AJ. Into the rush? Yeah. Into the rush of Allie and AJ? Oh, gosh. I love that band. I got to be honest.

[00:09:01] Last, after we watched Now You See It. Yes. Now You See It. Now You See It. I listened to Allie and AJ on the way home, and I had a great time. I went to a concert, and I didn't care about the headliner. I mean, I did, but I was really there because Allie and AJ was opening. You guys have a problem? No. They were the opening band. They opened for Ben Platt. Yeah, that's what I went to. You didn't care about Ben Platt. I did. That's interesting.

[00:09:30] Well, because when my friend was like, hey, I have an extra ticket. Do you want to go see Ben Platt? And I was like, yeah, sure. And then you're like, say what now? Who's the opening band? And then she was like, well, Allie and AJ is opening, but we can miss them if you want. And I was like, no, that is why I would go. I was so mad to miss that show. I think the closest they got to Atlanta. Was it Atlanta that you went to? No, I was still living in New Hampshire, so I saw them in Boston. Closest it came was Atlanta, which is always a really tough thing for me when I really want

[00:09:58] to see a band or a group or a singer. Yeah, there's a concert happening in Atlanta soon that I want to go to, but not enough to drive four hours around trip. Jordan Henson, Brittany Curran, Whitney Sloan, Ryan Mal. Jordan also goes by Jordan Danger. Oh, okay. Per IMDB. Ryan Mal. Mal. Mal. Galarini. We don't know what she does. Jake Abel. All of these people are in this movie. Shall we dive in? I would love that.

[00:10:25] Aaron, you're going to probably have to do some heavy lifting here because I even if you had written a good synopsis, Aaron was going to do most of this. She is a figure skater. Like I'm going to start. Aaron's going to be like, well, let me slide you right there. Let me just explain what he just said. So we meet a teenage figure. Well, first off. We meet a teenage figure skater. That's not that. What that is. But he says teenage. Do you have our exact age? No. Okay. Caitlin Kingsford is. Caitlin Kingsford.

[00:10:54] I had to drink in my hand. It was nothing I could do. But I did it with my mouth. Way to commit. I did it with my mouth. You're sensitive to my mouth? Yes. Anyway. What was I talking about? Oh, Karen Kingsbury. Who's real good at. Kingsford? Oh, Kingsford. I like how you said it correctly twice. And then you're just like. Yeah. Karen Kingsbury. It's Karen Kingsbury. Who is real good at figure skating. And she's feeling good about herself. Everything's going great during her performance.

[00:11:23] I definitely believe that she has been figure skating for a while. Yeah. For sure. Until. She had a rubber band in her hair instead of a scrunchie. Because she gave her scrunchie to a kid. And it breaks mid spin. And everyone knows when that. Like a guy can throw off the. Yeah. You know. Spin. Yeah. I do. I mean, I would never use a rubber band in my hair. Wouldn't trust it. Yeah. But you give your scrunchie your hair tied to a friend. Well. It's better than nothing.

[00:11:52] So here's the fun where my figure skating journey differs from. Caitlin over here. Wow. I would rather see someone else lose than give them my scrunchie. When our hair. I mean, our hairstyle would change every year. But one year our hair wasn't a bun. And it would go in the bun. And they would put like a fishnet around. Like a hairnet around it. And then it would be tied with a regular elastic. Then they would sew it in. And then a scrunchie would go on top.

[00:12:21] So like I could have given my scrunchie to someone. Didn't do anything. That hair wasn't going anywhere. Like because that hair needs to last. Like my hair would get done at like four in the morning. And then because you would have a practice skate. You would have your actual skate. And then you have to wait for the whole division to be done. And for potentially awards. So like that hair had to not move for 12 hours. I just as a parent I'm thinking I just don't want my kids in figure skating now. It's a commitment. Yeah. And so when she was just like, yeah, my hair is just in this cute little pony. I was like, I guess you just don't care.

[00:12:51] But this you got going on right now. Like if Bran needed that. You would gladly. There is an elastic under this scrunchie. And it's pinned in. I didn't get the fishing line and like sew it in. But it's in there. So Bran, if you. If you need that. If you need that, buddy. It's going to be such a long synopsis. Sorry, sorry. So it's okay though. She falls down. It's not okay. She falls down. It's a whole thing.

[00:13:19] But you know, she's special. She's discovered by a famous Russian skating coach. 100% Russian. Russian in quotes. Absolutely, yes. Natasha Goberman. And Natasha. I don't know. Bran's doing a great job. He's doing awesome. Thank you. Natasha. Couldn't have told your name. Coaches at. Karen Kingsbury. That's exactly right. Maybe you've heard of Christmas game. Natasha coaches at an extensive. Expensive. Not extensive. I think it's extensive. Probably extensive. Probably both.

[00:13:49] Both expensive and extensive boarding school. You knew what you were doing there. I did. And Caitlin's parents cannot afford to send her there. No matter, you know, how mad. How badly she's asking them. They only have so much money and they're also bad parents. So it's like tough to help her with the expensive Natasha. At her level is already so expensive. They can't spend another. No.

[00:14:13] Natasha convinces the girls hockey coach to give her the final hockey scholarship so that she can go. She will play hockey. And then she'll be able to do the training with her in all of her spare time. A lot of collusion here, Ram. Like a lot of like shady doings, in my opinion, here for this. They're pulling from the Mighty Ducks where there's a figure skater that joins the Mighty Ducks squad and is a great hockey player.

[00:14:41] But also the idea that you're giving a scholarship to someone who's they intend to never play. Right. Shady doings. Shady doings. Well, Natasha does a whole like wink wink at the coach. And I think there's a promise of like we can go on a date or. Oh. There's something romantic going on. So it's shady doings and possible sexual favors. Some like real shady. Yeah. So there's, she makes a couple. It's a proposition in the kind that you're thinking of. Yes. The one you're thinking about. You are a correct proposition. Sure.

[00:15:11] So Caitlin gets there and turns out hockey. Hockey. Hockey. Hard. Hockey. Hard. It's not the same as figure skating. No. She's got to learn a lot of things. And she's got to do all. She's got to basically learn a new sport while also juggling the figure skating training that she's getting. And also all of the schoolwork. And also all of the new relationships that she has. And it's hard. Can you imagine, Dan? No.

[00:15:41] I can't. Hockey being hard? No. It's tough. Tough to get there. I mean, we know figure skating is so easy. Right. You know, you just show up at four in the morning. You go to the practice. You go to the group skate. And you just show up, really. Like, I just, I took to it immediately. You know? Yeah. The first time I ever saw you hit the ice, I was like, you are a natural. Yeah. Fluid. Like, I'm a little shocked you didn't play hockey. Like, you were just so natural in the ice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Growing up in the South. Team USA really missed out on you.

[00:16:10] So many opportunities for me to get involved in ice hockey growing up. That's right. There's, we meet Spencer. Spencer is the assistant hockey coach. For reasons that we know. Also resident high school cute boy, Spencer. Resident high school. All right. Well, that seemed a little much. I did not need that giggle. That followed cute boy. Listen, 14-year-old Aaron loved Jake Abel. 14-year-old. Yeah, I don't know what he looks like now. Yeah.

[00:16:40] 14-year-old Aaron, big fan of Jake Abel. I mean, guys, we'll find out later. He was in a rock band. Yeah. I mean, come on. He's assistant coach to this team for reasons we know. Yeah. Look at this guy. Is he on the? Oh, yeah. Yeah. This high school boy. This guy. All right. Well, I don't know if we need that. This is a lot. There's a lot going on in that photo. Yeah, it is. The high school. Is that your sleeveless on one side? Sorry, go ahead. I think his muscle. This high school boy.

[00:17:04] This high school boy said he showed up to the all girls hockey practice and said, Hey, coach, do you need someone to hang around? Hang around? Because I'm your guy. I would love to hang around the high school girls hockey. There were other adult assistant coaches. Yeah. Yeah. Was that his scholarship? Was he got to help out with that? I mean, I got injured in high school and got to assist the JV basketball team while I was injured.

[00:17:34] That's the closest thing I can see to this. That's not what's happening. But also, I don't know how it works with hockey, but with basketball, typically the girls and the boys, they travel, they play the same team. So there's some crossover there where we never... I don't even think we see a boys hockey team in the movie. No. The boys hockey team is non-existent. It doesn't exist. Like, I kept waiting for there to be some reference to why Spencer was there. And then the only other activity we see him do is band. It's rock band. It's rock band. It's rock band.

[00:18:03] Maybe the boys' season and the girls' season are different times. Does it make any sense? Yeah. But, I mean, that happens sometimes down here with soccer. Like, girls' soccer and boys' soccer are different seasons for high school. But, like, right now, like, the PWHL and the NHL are both playing. Yeah. Yeah, at the professional league. But, see, even in the NBA, that's not true. WNBA season and NBA season are different. WNBA starts right when the NBA finishes. So, like, I mean, I guess, but that's still a stretch. Still a stretch.

[00:18:33] We have the easy assistant coach. If you're listening and your high school had a girls' hockey and a boys' hockey, will you leave us a review and let us know if they played at the same time? She asked Steve Lund yesterday. I mean, missed opportunity. Although, I didn't have this question yesterday. I just have it now. I know. I have it now. Man, hindsight. It's 30-40. You know what I mean? Hey, if he ever emails us that photo, I'll email back and ask him. Hey. Can you clear us some hockey questions? Don't worry. He's just sending us photos in our emails. It's not important.

[00:19:03] It's fine. For social media use. That's right. He's clearing a photo for us. So, Caitlin, at first. Back to Caitlin. Yes. Caitlin, there's some, like, tension between her and the other players. Because she's not good. Yeah, she's not good. And she also has an attitude. You know, they call her, like, the twirler or whatever. There's some bullying going on, etc. Etc. And all of this is kind of causing her to also, like, struggle with the thing that she came there for, which is figure skating.

[00:19:32] It's all working against her. And then the next thing I have is Christy Yamaguchi. And so I don't know what I missed in between struggle bus and Christy Yamaguchi. Well, I will say. There's, like, lots of practice sessions. Lots of struggling. Our lead is very much obsessed with Christy Yamaguchi, gold medalist for the United States. She talks to her, like, poster of her for guidance. She's like, Christy, what would you do? You know, what would Christy Yamaguchi do? That was good. The hockey team doesn't know that she's a figure skater.

[00:20:02] Right. They used her Christy Yamaguchi poster as a dartboard. So she has struck up some above board deal with the janitor to keep all her figure skating stuff in the janitor closet. And she is not making friends at, with the skate club. Right. Probably because she has an attitude where she came in and she was like, I'm the best. And then the girl who had been the best at the skate club was like, take a step back.

[00:20:33] So that girl plays a really fun prank on her where she has to get to practice with Natasha. And she stops by this party that the whole skate club is at. And they're like, hey, can you go get more cups? Because the cups, all the plastic cups are sort of the. Just a party where the band is playing. And they home alone to her. So, yeah. So the janitor closet, it's where all the cups for the parties are kept. So she goes in there. They lock her in there. Do you think the janitor is up to something shady? Yes. No, above board. Okay. Yeah. We disagree on that. Jablonski, above board. His name is Jablonski.

[00:21:03] She gets paint spilled all over her. He keeps the beverages, the cups for the parties. The fact that the parties were in, like, the party cups were in the janitor closet. That's not his fault. With, like, open toilet paper rolls. Like, it just, I had so many questions about that closet. Anyway, she gets covered in paint. There's a sign that says, go home, Spudnik. And then she gets locked in there. It's one of the meanest things I've ever seen. Yeah. I think it's hilarious. Yeah. So then she shows up late to her practice. Mean Girl took her spot. Yeah.

[00:21:33] And Natasha had invited Christy Yamaguchi to come train with Caitlin. Oh. That's really bad timing. And it's at this point where, yes, we've briefly alluded to the parents being the worst, which we'll get to more later. Ugh. But also, just the adults in this film, not great. No. Because Natasha looks over at her covered in purple paint. And she's just like, clearly you don't want to be here. Yeah. You need to do better. Prioritize.

[00:22:01] I would have been like, what happened? Why do you have a bunch of paint on you? Yeah. You have to still want, like. Someone who is never late to practice. Why are you so late? And who has never showed up with a bunch of paint on her. But there's something like about being a coach and a parent and all that stuff to where you can be frustrated when the kid doesn't do the responsible thing, but their safety and their security typically comes first. She looks like she has been through something. Yes. I would. So she just doesn't ask. She blames Caitlin. And she's like, clearly you've got a whole lot going on here.

[00:22:31] Especially if she's never late. Figure out what's going on. I don't get it. And then she has to watch the mean girl train with Christy Yamaguchi. Her hero. But then she does have a moment. Christy comes over and is just like, hey, I've seen some footage of you. Like, you're really great. They have some nice moments. I will say, for me, some of this movie, you know, the idea that she doesn't fit in either worlds.

[00:22:58] And I think that would have been like a better thread to pursue instead of this, I can't tell. Like, you know, if we just have her doing both because that's the only way her parents can afford it and it's not a secret. I feel like there's a much more of a fun thread we can do there than this thing where the hockey players don't know she's a figure skater and the figure skaters don't know she's a hockey player, even though they all go to the same school. The figure skaters do know. They do know. That's right. But the hockey players don't.

[00:23:25] She hasn't told the hockey players because they hate the skate club. And there's a whole shady doings. We don't. And I will say, we don't talk about skate club. We don't talk about skate club. This is tough. No, no. Yeah. So anyway, she missed out on trading with Chris Yamaguchi. And she's feeling so like down. Down and defeated. And she says, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go. Where's Q-Boy assistant coach? Yeah. Where is he? But she decided she's going to go home. You know, like take a breather. Well, she goes home after a hockey practice. Okay. Great. Yeah. She gets.

[00:23:55] She doesn't. Something about like Ronnie. Like you're supposed to always have your teams back. And whether it's. I can't remember if it's in a game or practice. Somebody trips Ronnie or whatever. And Caitlin just like runs away. And the team is like, you can't just run away. Like when you're out on that ice, we need to know that you are part of the team. And whatever. She's doing bad in school. The skate club hates her. Her team hates her. And she's like, you know who loves me unconditionally? Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. And my parents. So I'm going to hop on a bus. That's right.

[00:24:25] And go home. I just. Turns out her parents. Go ahead. I just need some home. Like home cooking. Yeah. Some hugs from mom and dad. They'll know what to say and how to nurture me. Nope. They are thrilled that that little freeloader's gone. They're thrilled. She gets home and runs into her room. Bed is gone. Bed is gone. No, it's in storage. Oh, my bad. Sold some other stuff. They're doing a yard sale. But mom is selling everything. Everything that she can. Like school doesn't last all year.

[00:24:55] That girl's in ninth grade. She's coming home. Yeah. She said. What the F, mom and dad? Mom said, we put your bed in storage. I was going to bring it back out when semester ended. What? What was the plan? I'm just going to say, I went off to college for four years. My room never changed because I came home for vacations. And my parents loved me and let me stay there. Yeah. My room, my room. Is your room still there? No. Well, my parents moved. Yes.

[00:25:21] But it barely changed from the time that I left home to when my parents finally sold their house. My room didn't change until I moved. My parents moved last year and I had to go up there and tell them what they could throw away. Like they still had old band t-shirts that I wore in high school. Heck yeah, bro. And I was like, you can keep this, throw this, whatever. You kept all the band shirts there, right? My McDonald's visor I wore at McDonald's. And I was like, throw it. And my kids were like, no. And my kids kept it. So like.

[00:25:50] But also, Popola probably would have loved that. Yeah. An actual 1990s McDonald's visor that was worn. Did you think about that? I have it. It's at the house. You could have sold it to him. He's going to listen to this and be mad. Yeah. I could 100% probably ship it his way. Or sell it. Yeah. Put it on eBay. I didn't keep the basketball and baseball cards. I mean, put it on eBay. See if you did. Put it on eBay. A used McDonald's visor. It is. Yeah. To show you how bad it is, she runs away from school to go home and then she runs away from home. Yeah. Like she decides.

[00:26:20] Well, she sees this box of like, it's called, I think it's labeled like ice skating junk or something. And it's a lot of her stuff that her mom has just decided you weren't around. Yeah. Skating shit. Caitlin. Caitlin decides. There's a box called skating shit. Well, you went off to school. You left it behind. So I assumed you didn't want it because I assumed that when you went to boarding school for the first time, you took everything. Yeah. Caitlin decides. So she takes that box and she runs to the corner. It'll be better to live on the street. Yeah. Yeah. Fair.

[00:26:49] By the way, she is still in hockey gear. Yeah. She left immediately after practice. She is still in pads like the whole nine yards. Yes. And so like her mom finally like realizes. She's outside in the cold. Yes. Like, oh my gosh, maybe we done goofed. And they do. Not really. She just kind of goes out there and. Don't give up. At the bottom of the box is figure skating junk. That's not Caitlin's. It's her mom's.

[00:27:18] So they have this like very brief conversation where Caitlin's like, I didn't know you were a twirl girl. Um, which in my decade plus of skating, never heard that name. Hey, twirl girl. Just. You wouldn't get it. Um, and the mom is just like, yeah, I have weak ankles. So like I couldn't go the distance. Yeah. Put her down. Um, and somehow Caitlin takes that, uh, admission of weak ankles to be like.

[00:27:47] Right on track. Right on track. Is that the horse movie? No. That's, uh, running around the mountain. No. What's that? It's Erica Enders. Did the track racing? No, the horse movie we watched on this show. Ready to run? Ready to run. That's it. Ready to run. Ready to run. Sorry. You go ahead. Whenever you're ready, Aaron. You got this, Aaron. We would never. Um, so the mom's saying that I had weak ankles. Caitlin apparently forgives everything and they're, they're besties again.

[00:28:15] Uh, and she goes, oh, oh, we forgot. But she walks in the door. Nobody hugs her or asks her if she's okay. It turns out her dad and her brother had a bet on how long she would last until she quit. So she walks in the door and her brother's like pay up. Listen, there's a time and a place for tough love. What's going on in this house is called abuse. It is absolutely crazy. No one cares about her at all. No one. No one. It's unbelievable.

[00:28:45] Uh, so then after this talk with her mom, she's like, Hey, my ankles have been training for hockey all season. So they are hella strong. Um, I'm going back. Brother whose name I remembered brother. Give that money back to dad. I'm not quitting. That's right. Deuces. So she goes back to school. She starts that bus between home and school is running. It's right. She could have stayed at home. Well, it's on a loop. And so it's just way of way around. It's eventually going to come back. So boomerang. It's a boomerang bus.

[00:29:13] Um, so now she goes back to school with a new attitude. She is the first one on the ice at hockey practice. Like she and people is ready. She's studying. She's hockey. She's skating. And it's going, uh, great for her. And to break down barriers with friends in both the figure skating. And the girl discovers that she's a twirl girl and helps her. Yeah. She and, uh, and the hockey team begins to win, starts to turn the season around.

[00:29:43] Things are going well until they get the news about, uh, when the, uh, the like big game is going to be, you know, big games, the finals, if you will. And it's the same time as this figure skating chamber. That's exactly right. Senior nationals. Yes. You got it. And championships, as we call it here. And so now she's like, well, what am I going to do? Am I going to be a twirl girl through and through? Uh huh. Or am I going to help support the team? And this is when the parents come around and they ask her like, what do you, what's in your heart?

[00:30:13] What are you thinking? And whichever one you decide will support you. No, just kidding. They make another bet about which one she'll show up to. And they just go to that one. Um, so yeah. So her roommate who goes by the name Hollywood, uh, and Spencer are her two friends that know that she is a dual athlete. They both believe she should go to senior nationals because you've been working your whole life. You've been working your whole life for this moment. This is how you get on the Olympic team.

[00:30:41] Also, there are other girls who can, who can play on the team. Like if you miss, like, yes, you're a part of this team and we love having you here and you've been integral in our winning streak. But I mean, honestly, if they can't win one game without you, they didn't deserve to win. That's right. But Kayla has a deep, deep fear of disappointing others and chooses the team. Yes. And her parents have exacerbated that fear. So they all assume she's going to go to see, they're like, you should go to senior nationals. Um, so the game, game day arrives. They're all there at the rink.

[00:31:10] Caitlin's not there yet. And the coach is like, where is she? And Spencer's like, I don't know. Not here. And then quietly to himself. Thank God. Like he's, he's assumed that she's gone to senior nationals. Her parents, her old coaches and her brother have all gone to senior nationals. Cause they're like, have we talked to our daughter since she came home in tears? No, absolutely not. Um, but we know she'll be here. Yeah. Um, and then Caitlin shows up at the hockey game and Spencer and Hollywood freak the F out.

[00:31:39] Uh, and they're like, what are you doing? And she's like, this is my team. And Spencer. And it's a good thing she does because they lose that hockey game. Spencer says the team would have understood. And she goes, but I wouldn't. Uh, yeah. And then they lose. They lose. Um, it's Eddie's million dollar cook off situation, but he doesn't leave early. He stays. She stays. They lose anyway. And then how do we get the figure skating done? Well, big little brother decides to craft a distraction on the ice. Little brother calls her phone.

[00:32:07] Luckily he always has his, uh, little, little fighter. What's it called? His robot. Yes. Robot. What was that called back in the day when they would do the, uh, robot fighting competition? Robotics. I don't remember. Okay. Um, it was a TV show. Brother calls her and thank goodness she brought her cell phone to the hockey box and left it on the bench and thank goodness with no caller ID. Cause there's no front screen. Uh, battle bots. Spencer Spencer just answers that phone. He's like, Hey, it's a battle bot.

[00:32:34] Um, and the brother is like, they're gonna hold her spot. Get her here. Get ASAP. Um, and he decides to create a distraction. He, he had played hockey. His brother had played hockey. When Caitlin started playing hockey, he quit, uh, and devoted his entire life to robotics. Cause the battle bot. Sacrifice his battle bot. Uh, to create a distraction so that Caitlin can get there. Um, and so obviously Spencer throws Caitlin in the car and they speed to the rink. No, they don't.

[00:33:04] Um, this town apparently has two skating rinks. Um, he is going, I think below the speed limit. She does a full costume change in the front seat of that car. Okay. Not above board. No. Um, shenanigans are ensuing on the ice. The battle body being chased by all these men who decided not to wear skates and just are slipping on the ice. And then they bring the Zamboni out, but it's, it's successful. It's successful. It's successful. She can get there. Yeah. Um, I've had to do a lot of quick changes into a skating costume.

[00:33:34] I don't know how she did that in the front seat of a car. Magic. Magic. Because not only Spencer, but everyone else on that road got a show. That's right. Like there's just nowhere on that. And they just re-went to the skating rink and go back and it's like she's changed. And Spencer promised not to look. He was like, you do your thing. That's right. My eyes on the road. On the road. Eyes on the road. Eyes on the road. Did I sneak a peek? Absolutely not. Eyes on the road. Eyes on the road. Sir. I am above board. Uh, so they make it. So she does a full change, but she just has her hockey skates. Hockey skates.

[00:34:03] Well, when she, when she was leaving the ice, the hockey rink, she bumped into the team and her, her, uh, figure skating bag opened and the skates fell out. And in the hustle there, she only grabbed one. Um, and so she gets to the rink and she's like, oh no, Cinderella moment. I only have one figure skate. Hey, NBD. I've been skating all season in hockey skates. I'll just compete in hockey skates. There you go. No toe pick though. And we know what that means. Can't do those big turns. Can't do big jumps. It happens.

[00:34:31] She realizes quickly the importance of the toe pick. 10 seconds into the routine. She falls down. She falls and just, and I loved her attitude because she just laughs. She goes, no toe pick. No toe pick. And I love that moment. It was the most authentic, like figure skating, figure skater she'd been on a movie for me. That's right. And then, so she loses both and that's the end of the movie. Roll credits. Yes. No. They start chanting. Yeah. Well, the hockey team shows up. With her missing skate. Yes. Yes. And they start chanting. The judges are like, we're not going to let her restart. She had her moment.

[00:35:01] Competition's over. And the judges are right here. And I want to be very clear. I get it. I get what movie we're watching. If anybody goes out there and starts their routine. And falls. And falls. And then. Runs away. Runs away. She didn't run away. She stayed on the ice. She, whatever the case was. She stopped skating. The music stopped playing. Like. That's it. I think. I don't think it's unheard of to restart. Let her skate. Well, they hit. There was a chant. And there was nothing. I'm thrilled we did. Thrilled we did. See, yeah. Then the hockey team starts to chant. Let her skate.

[00:35:30] The whole crowd joins in. Peer pressure. It makes the Olympics. Peer pressure wins. She gets to redo it. And she makes the Olympic team. There you go. Which is exactly how they announced that. They don't tell you came in first, second, or third. They just announce straight after the competition who's on the team. Who's made the Olympics. Which is 100% real. That's how that works. That's right. We did it. Let's go figure. We're going to take a break. We're going to come back. We're going to share our thoughts on it. We're going to make our list. We're going to do all those things. Yeah, a list I definitely made. You're on. The Comdescendants. Thank you, Aaron.

[00:36:05] I love that overlay. It was really good. Thank you. Hi, everybody. Welcome back to The Comdescendants. It's only been missing for like 50 episodes. That's right. It's time for Overtime. It's where we talk about how this movie aged over time. I got some Letterboxd reviews if you guys would like it. I would love them. Joshua Min wants it on the record that this is the funniest exchange in a DCOM history. This is the exchange. Hi, I'm Amy Henderson, left wing. Caitlin Kingsford, moderate conservative.

[00:36:35] It's pretty funny. Very funny exchange. Great writing. Which was the thing in 2005. Great writing by the duo of Patrick J. Clifton and Beth Ragazio. Ragazio. Tori says one and a half stars. Twirl Girls sounds like a slur from the 1920s. Lisa says two and a half stars. Some of the worst DCOM parenting of all time. And that's really saying something. Really saying something. Impressive. Bellis says three stars. And I'm not convinced.

[00:37:05] Actually, I am convinced, Aaron, that you are Bellis. Here's the review. I really liked this one when I was a child. I'm sure it was only because I liked figure skating and there wasn't many movies about it. And because I wanted to look like her and date the guy. I mean, I didn't want to look like her, but yeah, I wanted to date Jake Abel. All right. Then Tina says five. Tina says five stars. What's your beef with her? Why do you want? You think she's ugly? You hate her. No, I just liked being myself. Oh, look at you. Streets ahead.

[00:37:34] This is my fight song. When everybody else was like, gosh, I hate myself. Aaron's over to be like, I'm awesome. I got it. I'm a Leo. I got it. Yeah. Tina says five stars. I love cinema. Let's share our thoughts on it. Aaron, clearly you'd seen this movie once or twice. What do you think of Go Figure Now? I would say I didn't always love this movie.

[00:38:06] But I loved watching this movie in the year of our Lord, 2025. Um, I like, I was talking about while we were watching this movie, I was saying how it was like the first time that childhood Aaron realized that actors in movies aren't doing their own stunts. Yeah. Because the stunt double for Caitlin is at least six inches taller than her. Like just a different person altogether.

[00:38:33] Um, and it was, it was the first, I remember like rewinding it. Cause I was like, wait a minute. That's, that doesn't look right. And so I, for, so for a while I hated the movie. Cause I was like, she doesn't do her own stunts. And clearly every other figure skating movie does. Um, it was a, sorry, it was a crushing blow for me. Um, anyway, so I, I liked it upon watching it the first time.

[00:39:00] And then when I would rewatch it, that's when I started to realize that she wasn't actually doing her own stunts and clearly cinema wasn't real. Um, but yeah, I mean, I liked it. It was, you know, as was a Bella for that review bells bells. Um, there weren't a lot of figure skating movies, you know, when I was growing up, um, you know, we had the cutting edge and then, which was pre my childhood. And then we had a couple of sequels that came out during my childhood, but it was like cutting edge.

[00:39:30] And then this, like, there wasn't a whole lot going on in my childhood to see. The sport that I play, like there was tons of basketball. We've seen half a dozen DCOMs about basketball already. Like there, you know, basketball is everywhere. Even hockey was more prominent. So I liked this movie just on principle that this was something that showcased the amount of effort that I was putting in. Um, at one point in my skating career, I was skating six days a week.

[00:39:56] Um, I, you know, I had talked with this, I did synchro skating and then I also competed solo. And so I had two separate solo coaches. I had team practices. Like it was competition schedule insane. Like it just, and so it was nice to see this being like, yeah, it's really hard. And I ended up quitting because I wanted to have friends and do other activities and have a life outside of living at the skating rink.

[00:40:25] And also I never wanted to go to the Olympics. That seemed so stressful. Um, but yeah, so I love this movie then loved it now. Love it forever. Love it forever. Go figure too. Um, this is right around the corner. Anytime. No, this is a fine movie. Uh, I had never seen it. This was my first time watching, uh, go figure and I mean, go figure. And, uh, yeah, I liked it fine.

[00:40:51] It's not like, uh, you know, one that I'm going to seek out to watch again. Um, but it's definitely not the worst that we've seen. And, uh, you know, I think that the parents take a lot out of this movie. Uh, you kind of make me real sad. And, uh, that's unfortunate. Just give your daughter a hug. Just give your daughter a hug. Just one. Tell her you love her. Just one hug. And I did feel like it kind of meandered there a bit.

[00:41:19] I kind of like lost my way a little bit while I was watching. So I don't know if that came through. What? Um, but, uh, yeah, it's a fine movie. I, I'm not, I'm not upset at this movie. I think it's fine. Dan? I like, if you describe this movie to me, I think I like that more than watching the movie. The movie does feel long at 90 minutes. It does feel long. Well, especially since it's 20 minutes longer than so did John. That's right. Yeah. Well, we get a full, a full, uh, performance at the end. Oh yeah. At the end.

[00:41:49] We get to see her entire roost. Yeah. That killed me. I like the idea of, you know, hockey, a team sport. Figure skating can be a team sport, but a lot of it is very individually motivated. I like the idea of this girl who's very talented and learning how to be both and do both and excelling at both and being torn between those identities. I love that idea. If you pitch that idea to me for a decum, I'd be like, this could be a top 10.

[00:42:15] It doesn't really shake out that way because I think of the length of the film with the full routine at the end that is poorly edited and clearly a double and we don't need. Yeah. And it's also, it's a fun routine, but as someone who grew up in the figure skating world, I can't see that routine getting you to the Olympics. Yeah. But also the parents, the parents suck. I think that's the, for me, the movie drags and the parents suck.

[00:42:42] And so I love this movie on paper in, in practice. Not as much. It's fine. It's fine. It's not in the bottom of the barrel down there, but it's in this weird kind of my, my rankings in three tiers of movies. And that first tier, those first 10 or 11 movies are way ahead. And then the next tier of movies gets me to like 20 ish. And then the next tier is all of these movies from 20 to 45. You think 20 to 57 is just downright bad?

[00:43:11] No, that's not, you weren't, you weren't listening. I think in the tiers, I think 57 to one, two, three, four, five, five times four is 20. I think 57 to like 36 is all bad. Okay. 36 to 57. I think all of those movies are terrible. This is not in that camp, but it is in that hodgepodge beluga in the middle there, which

[00:43:40] are movies that I don't think work as well as I would hope they do or have some sort of fatal flaw. Like for this movie, it's the length of the movie and the parents. Those two things really took me out of what was going on here. Yeah. Sometimes bad parents make the movie better sometimes like bring brings that helps that movie. I think it hurts this movie because there's not a big fun heart to heart. Well, yeah, the parents don't come around. The heart to heart. Yeah. They don't come around. They think they're right. Like the only thing that happens is they gaslight Caitlin into thinking they are right. Like, yes.

[00:44:09] And then they show up for ice hockey or they show up for figure skating and she loses ice hockey. So they're justified. Like, well, she lost. Why'd she go anyway? Mom and her have like kind of a heart to heart and then they proceed to bet against her again. And so, yeah. Yeah. And the heart to heart isn't like the, you know, the mom isn't like, sorry, we got rid of your bed. Sorry. We haven't come to a single game when clearly it's only a bus ride away. It's ridiculous. A bus ride away. Though granted, I mean, a bus ride could be like seven hours.

[00:44:37] I don't know how far away they are, but you can't make it to a game. They missed more events in this movie than my parents missed my entire childhood. Also, I will say, I mean, senior now she would not have not competed all year and then just competed at senior nationals. There would have been competitions all year. Her parents didn't go to anything. But now we're into stuff that you caught. That's not even on my purview and my radar. I'm just thinking about how they're bad parents.

[00:45:06] Like, they didn't show up. They got rid of her bed, gang. Like, I forget. Yeah, they didn't show up for stuff. She had hockey games and competitions all season and they waited until like, oh, you made it to senior nationals? We'll show up now. There's no comeuppance. There's no recompense. There's no reconciliation. There's no like, hey, we really screwed up here. We should have supported you more. We were bad. There's no wrecking of any sort. You're 14 handling an extremely tough schedule. Yeah. We should have been there for some support. With friend dynamics and growing up and all of it.

[00:45:34] Living away from home for the very first time. We should have been there for you and we weren't. That's frustrating. Frustrating part of this movie for sure. Let's get to our rankings. Erin, where's this movie premiering and then what's your top 10? Yeah. So this movie, I'm struggling to rank it because I enjoyed this movie a lot. You're very invested. You grew up figure skating. Yeah, I love this movie.

[00:46:03] They are the worst parents I've ever seen in any movie, not just a decom. But this movie is going to premiere at 13 on my list. Wowzers. It was either there or the 10 spot. And I'm just not sure it belongs in my top 10. So it is going to be at 13 right behind Luck of the Irish. Also featuring the skating coach as Bob. And right ahead of Cheetah Girls. That's going to be right in there.

[00:46:33] Mine's really close to Cheetah Girls 2 for what it's worth. Yeah. So my top 10 as of right now has not changed. At 10, we have Scream Team. 9, Halloween Town. 8, Get a Clue. 7, Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-Off. 6, Phantom of the Megaplex. 5, Smart House. 4, Johnny Tsunami. 3, Right on Track, which is not about horses. Right on track. 2, Cadet Kelly. And number 1, Motocrossed. Nice.

[00:47:00] I got Go Figure premiering at 26. 26. I got it right behind Quince. But I do got it. And I have Quince way higher than you. I know. I was whatever about it. And that performance. Kimmy J. Yeah. Listen. Love her. And then I got it ahead of Alley Cat Strike. And I think everybody knows how big of a deal that is. That felt like a big deal. Here's my top 10 that hasn't changed. Luck of the Irish, 10. Phantom, 9. Full Court Miracle, 8.

[00:47:30] Smart House coming in at 7. Eddie at 6. Cadet Kelly at 5. Get a Clue at 4. Motocross at 3. Johnny Tsunami at 2. And the greatest movie of all time, Brink at number 1. Dano? So, the tier thing I talked about earlier. 1 to 14, I think, are in a tier. And then 15 to 24 are in a tier. And then the tier after that is just all of these movies that I think have something I didn't like about them hard. But they aren't as bad as 37.

[00:47:59] So, there's this weird gap in the middle there. And that's where this falls. I have it at 33. But realistically speaking, this movie, which is ahead of Jumping Ship and behind Stuck in the Suburbs, based purely on the enjoyment of the silliness of Stuck in the Suburbs, is at 33. But if we look at the movies that are within the 10 of it, Gotta Kick It Up, Even Stevens, Stuck in the Suburbs, Go Figure, Jumping Ship, Cheetah Girls, Now You See It, Alley Cats.

[00:48:26] Those eight movies, I'm fine if you rank them in any order. But I do think Double Teamed is definitely better. So, 33 for me, which is low. I get it. But the parents and the length of this movie kill it. Stuck in the Suburbs is so silly and stupid. But it's like 75 minutes and it's kind of fun. This movie didn't hold that for me. There is a change in my top 10. Which is just weird with your entire history with ice hockey. Yeah, I know. As much as I love the rink, getting out there.

[00:48:56] Skate. Shinny. Grew up playing. Just picking up four or five shinny's a week. And they called you McNasty on the ice? McNasty, they did. Bran would have been there, but he tried to triple axel without a toe pick. Snapped his Achilles. I do have a change in my top 10. Uh-oh. We've got to change. I've got to change. We've got to change. Number 10, Halloween Town. Number 9, Full Court Miracle. Number 8, Scream Team. 7, Get a Clue. 6, Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-Off.

[00:49:25] 5, Phantom of the Megaplex. 4, Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire. And moving up to number 3, Cadet Kelly. Oh, yeah. Johnny Tsunami 2, Motocross 1. Christy Carlson Romano effect. It might be. I think Cadet Kelly, the more I think about that movie, the more I was too hard on it. And I really, really enjoyed it. Heck yeah, bro. Yeah. Reverse would get a clue. Almost every week, I'm like, get a clue could drop below Scream Team in Full Court Miracle. I'm thinking about it. Scream Team's a ton of fun.

[00:49:55] Scream Team, okay. We did it. We did it. Congratulations to us. Next week, we're going to a movie I've never seen again. I've never seen this either. Life is Rough. That means it's terrible. Well, I just didn't care about these. Kyle Massey, Mitchell Musso. I did like Hannah Baker, but I don't think I knew who she was at that time. This is during That's So Raven. So congrats to him for getting that. Yeah. When the little brother on That's So Raven gets a movie. That's how you know. That's when you know. 14-year-old Aaron was like, I don't know. Not for me.

[00:50:23] That's how you know how big of a deal That's So Raven was. Like if you could tell, like the movies that I've definitely seen all had female leads. Yeah. And then the ones that centered around like boys and boy sports. I was like, hmm. Not a Kyle Massey fan. What can you do? So come on back next time for that. Until then. Keep decomming all the days of your life and mine. Well, we're going to send it a little Borat there. And mine. And the five. Decom to send. This is a Bramble Jam podcast produced by Brandon Gray.

[00:50:52] And yeah, that Greenville, South Carolina. Follow us on the socials at decommdescendants. Follow us on the web decommpodcast.com. To watch us watch these movies live, you can go to bramblejamplus.com. Leave us a review. Apple podcast and a rating. We'd love to hear from you. And yeah, that's about all I got. Okay. My wife. My wife. You're about to hear some ads.

[00:51:21] That helped keep the lights on here in the old studio. Thanks for listening or don't listen. And it's really up to you at this point. It's at the end of the show. I mean, you're listening to me. Hi. But here they come. I promise they're coming. Yep. Here they are. Happy day.