Zenon: Z3 (2004)

[00:00:03] This is a Bramble Jam Podcast.

[00:00:41] That's Dan. That's right. Each week we dive deep into the DCOM of the week, which is something we've been doing now for over a year. Yeah. We've just celebrated our year anniversary, which is pretty exciting. Yeah, we celebrated it so hard. So we went nuts. It was a rager. This is our 50th movie, gang. It's pretty exciting. 5-0. 5-0. I know. It's a big landmark. And it's this one. It's very exciting. This one is Z3. Zenon colon Z3.

[00:01:11] That's right. It's Zenon colon Z3, which is a terrible name for a movie. It's dumb. A movie that the name deserves it. It's not important. We do have reviews, which are important. We have new ones? We got new ones, Brian. I love that. That is good. I got one from BGJBUI. Bigajabui. Bigajabui. I don't know what that... That's got to be initials. You're going to feel real bad when that's their name. Bigajabui? You're going to feel really bad. I bet I nailed it. I bet I nailed the pronunciation. Bigajabui.

[00:01:41] No, you said Juey and you can't say that. I did. You did. Brian just said... Brian is canceled. Like, immediately. Oh, man. We don't edit the show. That's a tough break for you. Well, I knew it. Bigajabui says, love this show. I love this show. Can I try it one more time? You cannot. Say it. Bigajabui. I'm not going to. Yeah, it's just going to end. You need to know your strengths in your ways. That's right.

[00:02:12] And your strength is saying something offensive once. Mm-hmm. And knowing not to say it again. And knowing not to say it again, but laughing the whole time. That's right. They can't get mad at you if you're laughing. Bigajabui says, love this show. I'm pretty sure they can. I love the show and the hosts looking back at these movies with adult eyes and reminiscing while also questioning what most of these movies were thinking. I can't wait for the DCOM Daily Minute. Oh! Yeah! The DCOM Daily Minute! All right, we got one. Brandon Aaron hopefully forcing Dan to watch Hilary Duff's entire filmography. Yes!

[00:02:42] Oh my gosh. It's always a Hilary Duff moment. That's the end of that review from Bigajabui. Now, we've got one more review. This is from AshleyB82. She says, all above board. Great. I'm glad she said that. I'm around Dan's age. In parentheses, she put old. How dare you? 82. Oh, the old. I'm guessing AshleyB was born in 82. I was born in 83. So there's that. So we are the same age. So the DCOMs weren't on my radar when they came out.

[00:03:10] Even though I haven't watched them and still have no desire to watch them, I thoroughly enjoy this podcast. Pixel Perfect seems absolutely unhinged and I have never laughed so hard as I did when listening to your review of it. Keep up the good work. Halfway to 300. Hot sauce is family. Nicely done, AshleyB82. And you act like there's never enough news for the DCOM Daily Minute. Jonas Brothers making a Disney Plus Christmas movie, which is a pretty big deal and that would have been perfect for us to discuss, Aaron, on our DCOM Daily Minute.

[00:03:40] Would have been. We had a lot of opinions. I just think, what if we just try it? We try it for a little bit. As long as I'm not involved, I don't care what you do. We do DCOM Daily Minute, right? It's a minute. It's not a minute. Um, Hillary Duff just adopted a cat that was found in the wildfire of Los Angeles. What? This is not news. That is news. It's not news. This is not. We can't. Give me, give me one. Give me a DCOM actor or actress. Brenda Song. Okay. Oh, that's huge. Brenda Song and Macaulay Culkin on the cover of Cosmo.

[00:04:10] This is so easy, Dan. It's so easy. Do we have to put alerts, Google alerts for every single actor's name? Maybe. Here's another one. Um, Kimberly J. Brown and Daniel Koontz and Judith. Koontz. Who I can't, I can't remember her last name, but the cast of Halloween Town was just confirmed. They will be at 90s con in Connecticut. So I feel like we've done a year's worth of DECOM minutes right now. It's a dumb idea. It's a dumb idea. It's not a dumb idea.

[00:04:40] And I don't want any part of it. What if we replace the delish with daily minute? We, well, I just, but then it's not daily. This is weekly. The whole thing of a daily minute is daily. I don't know if you know this. The show is released weekly. The DECOM daily minute. If this is the daily minute of the week, I will give seven updates per episode for one episode. So it's not daily though. It's still seven in one day. You as the listener can parse those out over the course of seven days. It's on you. The DECOM daily minute is one of the, and if you binge your week in one day, that's above board.

[00:05:10] It's above, there's nothing we can do. Nothing we can do. I'll say this. DECOM daily minute suddenly makes this show interesting, Dan. You think this show is not interesting? I think it makes it interesting. I think that is daily. The way you say it doesn't change the definition of the word. Dan knows what I'm talking about. Dan, I think it makes it interesting. Oh, it, no, no, you're in a tough spot. Oh, oh, I'm picking up on it. I want to be very clear on the record.

[00:05:36] I have no interest in the DECOM daily minute, but I do hear what brain is saying. Uh, no interest. You know what? You know what I have interest in? The delish. The delish. That's what the D and DECOM stands for. Yeah. There's the music. What if it, uh. Is this, if this, if what is, I just want, what is it? It's paper towels. I'm very excited about this. It looks like a moon pie. Yeah. What is this? Is this a moon pie? Is this a homemade moon pie? Yeah. Okay. Let's go. Let her do it. Sorry. Hey, what'd you bring? Okay. And why'd you bring it?

[00:06:06] Yeah. So I went on a little delish journey the other day. Um, a D journey. Yeah. No, cause the one delivery is the journey. That's pretty good. It's not bad. This journey came to me. I didn't go to it. Oh, this journey. I didn't go travel around the world. I was in my own home. I had a journey. It's what it should be called. Um, the journey moment. The journey. Nope. Just a journey. We just, we just say the journey.

[00:06:32] Um, so for this journey, I was going to do some sort of shaved ice dessert. Uh huh. Makes sense. Cause the only food I really saw them eating was when Bronley, is that his name? The guy with the hair. Um, he is just sitting there and the bad guy is trying to talk to him and Bronley just is eating shaved ice and could not be bothered with anything but that shaved ice. So I was like, Oh, that'll be easy. And I didn't like any of the recipes I found. Okay. And then I thought, you know, would be fantastic. What?

[00:07:03] Is this movie takes place in the future. And what if I could find ice cream of the future? Oh, Dippin' Dots. And Greenville said, no, you can't. You cannot. And I said, great. There's no Dippin' Dots. Well, they're the ice cream of the present now. They've changed their slogan. But still, it would have been cool. Yeah. You could have gotten some at the Regal movie theater. Don't they have some Dippin' Dots or they used to? I don't know. I was on Dippin' Dots website and they told me that the closest Dippin' Dots was 90 miles away. And it was like a grocery store in North Carolina. And I said, hmm.

[00:07:33] And so you went and then you drove. As devoted as I am to De Journey. Yes. That was too long of a De Journey for me. That's right. So then I just Googled moon desserts and found this recipe for a homemade moon pie. Very exciting. Have you had a moon pie? Just a regular old moon pie? Do you know about those? It has been a very long time. Okay. Because down south here, literally an RC colon a moon pie was like a slogan. Grew up on moon pies. Loved them. This is very exciting for me. Bring it over. This is a big deal.

[00:08:02] When I said, I didn't even think of the moon. When I said it looks like a moon pie, I was just saying that from like... Memory. Yeah. It wasn't about the moon. Chocolate covered, obviously. But this is cold too. And then you have... Marshmallow in there? Marshmallow. Marshmallow. And what else? And then there's like a homemade graham cracker cookie. Great. All right, here we go. Cheers, everybody. This is exciting. I'm using my skip. Mm-hmm. What? I'm using my skip on...

[00:08:32] So I can eat more. Oh, got it, got it, got it. This is my favorite delish that we've ever done. It's really good. Like... Holy cow, Aaron. You kidding me right now? All right, you can stay. And that is Ear to Journey. Really good. Really good. Guys, would recommend... Oh my God. If we had had these while watching Z3... These are better than real movies. Top 10 movie. It's a top 10 movie if we had these while eating. No. While watching. This can do a lot.

[00:09:00] While the cookies were baking in my apartment, I debated not bringing them in. Oh my God. Aaron. So good. You got good yourself. And we should just end the episode here. On this high note. We're gonna take a break at least. We'll take a break. Let's take a break. We'll come back. We'll talk about Z3. Will we? Maybe. Why don't it just be an hour of us eating? I'm gonna rave about this for the whole time so I don't say anything mean. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

[00:09:30] Decom Descendants. Decom Descendants. Welcome back, welcome back. I think the fact that this is cold kicks it up enough. Kicks it up? It's a kick up. It's so good. What is it? R.C. Cola just a Coke knockoff? Yeah. Southern Coke is all it is. It's not very good. And I know I'm losing a lot of Southern cars by saying that, but it's not great. Dad used to drink Diet Right. You know what that is? No. Diet Right.

[00:10:00] Diet R.C. Cola, but it was right spelled R-I-T. Why didn't they do Diet R-C? Because they thought Diet Right was the move. That's confusing. So confusing. Diet Right is what they called it. I feel like this tastes better the more I eat it. I'm full of them. Let's talk Xenon Z3. It came out on June 11th, 2004. So all the kids are out for summer break. They put on their... Anticipated threequel here. You weren't on summer break yet? There's a good chance I was still in school.

[00:10:30] Insane to me. It just doesn't compute. June 11th, 2004. Written by Stu Krieger, who's... Done all of them. Done all of them at this point. Directed by Steve Rash. Steve Rash. Have we heard Steve Rash before? I don't think so. Steve Rash. They don't even have... I'll go to his IMDb. Steve Rash is a director who did Bring It On, In It To Win It in 2007. Oh, it's like my favorite Bring It On. Really?

[00:11:00] How about that? It's so bad that it's so good. Steve Rash... They do the whole Jets Sharks thing. Oh, wow. It's horrible. Sounds great. This is Steve Rash's one and only... One and only DCOM. They have a cheer rumble. A cheer rumble. It is starring, of course, Kristen Storms once again as Xenon. And then Raven Simone gets a mention here, which is great.

[00:11:29] There's no word where this stars Raven Simone. It stars her. No. It stars Raven Simone and Lauren Maltby. Yeah, that's Margie. Margie, Margie, Margie. It's Moonstock 54, everybody. Don't ask Dan what it is. Don't ask him to explain it. Dan, what is it? Explain it. It's inexplicable. It is not... So Woodstock concert. Yes. Not what Moonstock is. Mm-hmm. They are planning on colonizing the moon.

[00:11:58] Is this the 54th annual... We don't know that yet. We don't know that yet. So why are they doing Moonstock 54? It's the year 2054. Prime to pump a little bit, maybe? Yeah. He does say it's a youth festival. Prime to moon colonization. Okay. But it's not a concert thing. But it is where he's announcing the... There's a race and there's... Teenagers racing to the moon. Yeah. So there is a race to get to Moonstock 54. Which is on the moon. They're having Moonstock 54 there. It says it. It starts there, but it...

[00:12:28] I think it's the kickoff. It kicks off there, but then they all go. What we're saying is nobody understands Moonstock 54. Yes, but Moonstock 54... Because Dan, remember, a lot of what happens is taking place on the moon. Oh, I remember. But not that scene. Not that scene. That scene, it starts on Earth and then there's the racers race and then everyone else just kind of goes... And you need to know this. This movie is a cool 79 minutes. It is a absolute nothing burger of a time run movie.

[00:12:54] It is like, there's nothing to it, but you feel every single second of it. As the person who probably loves the bad D comes more than anybody else in this room. This movie could have been like a 20 minute special. Yeah. Could have been an email. We're seen on now. Just a quick little like, you know, or one of those like five minute, sometimes at the end of the movie, they went to a commercial. They'll do a little like... Disney used to have like TV shows that would air on the commercial breaks. They'd be like a two minute thing. That's right.

[00:13:24] Could have been one of those. In the hall? Yeah. Kids in the hall or something? Kids in the hall is a very famous sketch. Okay. There was something in the hall. There was something on the... Anyway, this movie, there was a moment where I thought... This could have been a Mike Super Short show, Aaron. I thought it had been like four... Yes. It's like an email from... It could have been... I thought 45 minutes had passed and Dan checked and it hadn't even been 10. That's right. We were 12. Anyway, so they're racing to the moon. Fantastic movie. So it's Moon Stop 54. Xenon, to start with, is nowhere to be found. She is driving there.

[00:13:54] I don't know if she's still learning to drive, even though she's going to be in the race, but she's not very good at it. Man. She takes her flying car thing. It flies, but it looks like a car. Her parents are MIA. Yeah. MIA take her to the house. That's right. They're not in the movie. They mention them once. They're on the space day. But they're not... Space. Space day. Yeah. She starts in space, takes her little car to Earth. It's definitely not a car. Well, it's like a little... But they're designed to look like cars. It's a flying car. They are shaped like a car. That's right.

[00:14:23] And then she's going to drive it immediately back to the moon. If it can fly in space, it's not a car. There's no way, right? We got to draw a line somewhere. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Okay. It's a space car. Space car. What would you call it? A spaceship or a rocket. Why isn't it a car? Because it doesn't drive on a road. Oh, interesting. Road is... Road is defining car. Yeah. If it's an off-road vehicle, it's no longer a car. It's an ATV. But what about when flying cars finally happen? Even if it doesn't go to space? Well, is it an ATV?

[00:14:53] What does all terrain encompass? A definition of a car is a four-wheeled road vehicle. Okay. Not a car. That is what it is. I don't know. You guys are acting like I'm stupid about it. I know. I just agreed. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. I don't agree. What happened? It reminded me. I thought they were doing like a driver's ed bit. It's small. It's small. Yeah, they were. I do think everything about that makes sense, but it's not a... You're learning to drive your first passion. I just think you're small minded here.

[00:15:20] I think when cars can fly, cars can fly if they want to and there's still cars. Well, I think cars can fly and drive and then it is still a car, but if the vehicle doesn't drive on road... Yeah, there's no time where you see it on road. I don't know if that's true. And this is the content... We watched the movie together. Do you see it on a road? Do you see it on a road? I did not see it. Okay. Okay, then. At one point it lands... And this is the content that you all came here for. This is why we need another minute of this show every day. Um... So it's...

[00:15:50] But that's a different thing. This is a minute of us yelling about cars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So... Come back tomorrow! She is driving her spaceship and she doesn't know how to do it and her... Is that her uncle? But is she driving it if it's not a car? Oh, that's interesting. She's flying it. My bad. She's flying it. She's not driving. She's flying it. That's where we got off track originally. When somebody said driving, that leads us... Well, that's where I'm off track if it's an ATV. That's right. No, that's a road. Different story. I don't know third base. It... She... Is that her aunt and uncle she's staying with? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

[00:16:20] Her uncle's in there and he's like, that's not how you do that. Her uncle is doing a weird... He still works on the space day but is married to Judy. Did we all decide to say space day this episode or have we always been saying that? Well, it's space day. I mean, that's what they call it. That's what they call it. I know. But on this program have we said that for every episode? Zetus Lapidus. I don't know. I don't know. Stax Omega. Stax Omega. That's exactly right. It feels right. It's what they call it. Okay, great. I'm gonna defer to the... Okay, guys. Moons. Moons over by Hannah.

[00:16:49] Well, we don't have much to cover in the synopsis. All right. Here we go. So they're all... Everybody's pumped for Moonstock. Yeah, you're half done. Yeah. Everybody's excited for Moonstock 54. It is... Yeah, everyone's pumped. But not everyone's happy. Enter Sage Borealis. Yes. Sage Borealis. Adora's cousin. That's exactly right. He doesn't think that we should be even considering the moon as a place where we can hang out. So he tries to talk to Xenon because Xenon is in the race to the moon and...

[00:17:18] And she has a reputation at this point for... Yeah, of being somebody who bucks up against the old ways of thinking, you know? And so he talks... That's a way to say that. He talks to Xenon. Xenon's not having it. While on Earth, she's staying with Commander Plank and Judy. And they have news. They have a foster daughter named Dasha. And Dasha is a huge fan of Xenon. She dresses exactly like her.

[00:17:46] She says Cetus Lapidus like it's the old movies. Couldn't be more excited to be in the room with Xenon. Yeah. Well, I mean, when Space Day kids switch their lingo from Cetus Lapidus to Vega Omega, it takes a while to make that down to Earth. So Dasha hasn't quite caught up to the new lingo yet. I have a quick question. Dasha slow in this one. Well, where is star of this film Raven Simone during all of this? Because she's the best friend of Xenon. She's got to be a big part of this. Is she already at the moon?

[00:18:16] Where is she? She is not. She's at a beach, I think. Hawaii. And she's just going to call in three times throughout the movie. Okay. Three FaceTime calls. She's going to call in on the Zatpad. Beginning, middle, end. And do you think she's really in Hawaii or could it be a green screen? No. Definitely green screen. 100% a green screen. Got it. This movie was made, it's the like newest of the Xenons, but the graphics are the worst of the Xenons. They're somehow as bad as the first one. I think they're worse. I think they're worse.

[00:18:45] I think they use more. And so it feels worse. They did a lot. Yeah. A lot. They're bad. They're real bad. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So Sage pitches Xenon again, but is interrupted this time by Bronly Hale. Cute boy, Bronly Hale. Cute boy, Bronly. Which Xenon doesn't mind being interrupted by Bronly Hale because Bronly Hale, cute boy. Dasha is... He is also an Olympian of some sort. Sure.

[00:19:15] He has won something. Which is why he's in the race. Yeah. That's right. Dasha is loving life with her new family. Yes. She is so happy to finally have a home. Nothing could go wrong. Well, something goes wrong. Oh, no. She goes downstairs and overhears... Plank and Julie. Plank and Julie talking, and Plank's just like, she's a wild animal. She's ruining our lives. I think we're going to have to give her back. Now, she doesn't know what they're talking about. She assumes they're talking about her. They think I'm a wild animal. They're going to give me back.

[00:19:44] Turns out, he's just talking about the puppy that he's holding that she can't see. In the crook of his elbow, he's holding a little bitty puppy that she can't see. That's right. And he's talking about this puppy. I'm mad for the puppy, though, in the way he's talking about the puppy. Wild animal. That puppy could never. Like, if he's talking about a person, he should go to jail. If he's talking about a puppy, he shouldn't own a puppy. Yes. Like, it is terrible either way, but the fact that this is a misunderstanding is crazy.

[00:20:10] Well, the thing is, like, you see the puppy, and the puppy is so small. His little baby puppy. And he points to his slipper where he's like, and basically the puppy chewed up his slipper. I would like to know how long this puppy was unattended with slipper because the size of that puppy and the size of the holes, like, you left that puppy all day long with just your slipper. That's on you. That's on you. Be a better parent and a better pet owner. Wow. Yeah. Pretty straightforward. Yeah. And puppies chew stuff. Puppies chew stuff.

[00:20:40] Did he not know that? But also, like, it's one slipper. Did he not know that? That it was a possibility. You're going to lose some stuff when you have a puppy. But it's a secret puppy. Their plan is to give it to Dasha. They're hiding it. They're hiding it from Dasha. But Dasha doesn't, obviously, Dasha doesn't know. Also, if the puppy was running loose, causing mayhem, where was Dasha? Yeah. How did she not notice? How did she not know the puppy? Yeah. Vega, Omega. I tell you what.

[00:21:06] In a sea of 79 minutes of bad decisions and bad movie making, that might be near the top of the list. She's a wild animal. It's really bad. She's a wild animal. It's time for the Moonstock race, and it's really exciting. We all know the rules. Top three. Top four events. Yes. Margie wins. Xenon is in her craft and is shocked to find Dasha hiding. In the back there. Stowaway. She didn't want to stay. They think I'm a wild animal. They're going to give me back.

[00:21:36] I thought I had a family. I don't. They hate my brown eyes. Yeah. She tells Dasha, pretty sure, misunderstanding, you don't have brown eyes. I think they were talking about the puppy. And Dasha's like, oh no. Oh, man. Now I'm on the moon. And right before that, is it Cassie? Is that the other? I don't know. Nebula's cousin Cassie is in the race, obviously. Yeah. Nebula's cousin Cassie. Sage's cousin Aurora. Nebula's cousin Cassie. Aurora's not in this movie, but Cassie is in the race. Aurora Boy Alice is in this movie. Somewhere.

[00:22:05] Cassie runs into some trouble. I can't remember why, but she runs into trouble on the race. Drinking. And Xenon is winning. Yeah. But she's a good person. So she doubles back to help out Cassie. Still finished the top four though. And then, well, she's not going to. And then there is like a weird mist that helps propel her into that final fourth spot. That's the magic of the mist. Could be a ghost. Could be a ghost.

[00:22:35] Could be Aurora. Ghost of you keeps me moving. Could be anything. So, and at this point, the movie, which is airtight at this point, it falls apart. Oh, I thought it fell apart at the puppy. I know. No, that's my point is it was real bad before. So they are all on the moon having a good time. Um, you know, uh, protozoa comes not my protozoa, by the way, my different protozoa. Don't get me started.

[00:23:04] Ridiculous to think that they could do that and that people wouldn't be mad about it. But protozoa is also not. I wouldn't have noticed. You didn't notice without you saying something. I 100% would not. I got it. As soon as they spill. What did you spill? I got chocolate on my. I'm glad. I'm glad. I hope more happens. She's a little club soda to try and get it off. Look, oh, look at you little woman. What? Wait a minute. Sorry. It got away from me guys. Dude, you are, you've offended. It got away from me.

[00:23:34] It got away from me. So they're all on the moon. It's just Brandon who thinks women are less than, so he uses it as an insult. Old women. And I think that's an important, uh, clarifier. I didn't hear him say old. Oh, are you kidding me right now? I didn't hear old air at all. God, take it to the tank. I will. So they're on the moon and they're all having a good time. Protozoa shows up. Not a big deal anymore. There's a new group called cosmic blush and they have all the hits. Yeah. Protozoa is old news. Protozoa is old news.

[00:24:03] So Sage Borealis. It's like new kids on the block when Backstreet Boys and NSYNC came out. Right. That's what it's like. Exactly like that. So Sage and Sage Borealis. I almost said Sage and Borealis. What are we doing there? Sage Borealis snuck onto the ship and the head guy, Pat Number is his name. Pat Number. Number. What? It's a number. Oh, number. He said Pat Number. He is. He is. That's just what it says. Okay. It's spelled number on Wikipedia. So that's what I took.

[00:24:33] Oh, you're using Wikipedia. It's Pat Number. That's what I use for the casting crew. Pat the bat. Where's Pat Number? Where's Pat Number? Pat Number. Oh, it's Numbar. Sorry, everybody. My bad. Just like a man. You know what I mean? My bad. You get it? You get it. It's Numbar. It's Numbar. It's Numbar. It's Numbar. It's definitely Numbar on Wikipedia though. If you look at it in a sense, it is. If you don't read it. If you look at it quickly. If you don't read it, you can say anything you want. Clearly they mean Numbar. Numbar.

[00:25:01] Pat Numbar decides, hey, I'm going to keep you captive in my office basically. Yeah. He tries to do his own. Yes. And he notices. Which is above board. We can lock teenage children in our office with no bathrooms or foods or beds or anything. Yes. But he kind of, Pat Numbar looks out at Xenon and it's like, Xenon's up to something. I think she's starting to maybe be swayed by the points that Sage Borealis is making.

[00:25:27] So I need to make sure that Xenon is no longer a problem. Yeah. So he rigs the rock climbing contest. Yep. Tries to and does a sucky job of it. Just terrible. Yes. But everybody is now like Xenon's a cheater basically. And it's a whole thing. It was harder for her. Well, she moves. He moves. Numbar moves one of the handholds up. So when she's in the race with everyone else, she doesn't. There's nothing for her to grab. So she's kind of stuck.

[00:25:55] And then that mist again shows up and like helps her reach. Um, but Bronly and Margie see this. And so they're like, well, she's cheating. She has a moon ghost on her side. How can we compete with moon ghost? And Margie thinks and Xenon's like, well, I don't know what's happening. And Margie's like, well, you know, you're getting an unfair advantage. You're getting the mist. You should just qualify yourself. And Xenon's like, hey, the moon mist chose me. The moon mist chose me. So she calls me.

[00:26:25] She has been having dreams about coming in contact with someone on the moon. And Margie and Cassie are having the same exact dreams. Yes. It's Selina, the moon god. Yeah. We all know that. Selina, the moon god is basically trying to get them to fight against a permanent settlement on the moon, which is already being in the process of being constructed. Yeah.

[00:26:51] While being, you know, this is the brilliant part of Numbar's scheme is he locks the protester in his office with all of his paperwork and plans. So Sage finds out that even though he had like said, this was a temporary, it's just for this, you know, this one little youth festival. Um, he is going to, because he built lodging and like all this stuff up there, he's going to claim squatter's rights and basically take over the moon. Classic. Yeah. You know, you know how one does. It all checks.

[00:27:21] Um, and Selina is a, Selina, Selina Gomez is also in this movie. Selina, the moon god. Selina. Okay. Um, she says, no way, Jose, get off my planet. Not a planet. Get off my moon. Um, and that's right. No, you're a strong man. That was a good catch. I will say at trivia last night, one of our questions was we had to list all the planets in the solar system in order by diameter and we got it right. So. Wow. Man, I'm so bummed.

[00:27:51] I missed it. Uh, so we win. No, everybody. Everybody, everyone's having the dreams of the, not everybody, but. And I like to thank Xenon. They're having dreams of Selina, the moon god. And they realize something must be done. So Xenon, Sage, Dasha. I know the three days by everything. Xenon, Sage, Dasha, along with Margie, Cassie, Bronley, all, all of them decided it's time to. The real cheetah girls. Time to take, it's time to take it to the man and take back the moon and to give, Selina

[00:28:20] needs the moon back. Um, so they come up with a plan, which is my understanding. We're going to try to get everybody to go on to like protozoa's bus. Yeah. Before, like, while this is all happening. For, for a million dollars. If you ask me what happens, I couldn't tell you at this point. I got this. Don't worry. Okay, good. Um, there are a lot of weather, um, abnormalities happening on earth. You know, nothing like what's happening here in 2025. No.

[00:28:49] Um, it's snowing in Hawaii. Yeah. That's a Raven scene. It's a Raven. Yeah. So that's a, that's a Raven. She like calls in. How do we know that if Raven wasn't in this movie? Yeah. But there's like reports of other things when, um, Plank and Judy are driving to the moon to come get Dasha. It's snowing in outer space. Um, there's all these weird things happening and it's Selena. Um, and then she basically tells, uh, Xenon, you have to get everyone and this settlement

[00:29:18] off the moon or I'm like basically destroying everything. Like you have, here's your deadline. And number, they say number leaves, but he's still there. So like all the shuttles have gone back to earth to pick up popcorn, Dan. Yeah. And then protozoa. All the, all the shuttles are gone by sugar Ray, which is all the, all the youth who are on the 30 years ago, the kids aren't going to understand that song.

[00:29:48] And I did point out at the beginning of this movie when we were watching it, that it was weird to me that it was number and then just a bunch of children like that should have been the first clue to everyone that this was some shady doings. Yeah. Anyway, he sent his workers down to earth. Where does pet number get involved? Um, the whole time, baby. To start the second phase of this colonization project. So the only bus available is protozoas.

[00:30:13] So even though he's not the it musical group anymore, he is going to be a hero and that's all that matters. He's going to be that hero. He might not be that soup, that superstar anymore, but he is that hero. That's right. Amen. Amen. So everybody gets gone and then, um, they decide that they're going to go and lift the dome. Yeah. They're going to take their not, not space cars and they're going to hurl the, they're

[00:30:42] going to lift the dome and hurl it into space. Cause that's better. They're going to go lift the dome. They're going to like us. I don't know. And I had miscalculated cause I thought there were seven space vehicles cause there were originally six and then plank and Judy joined in, but the two losers from the race, they just hopped onto that shuttle. They said, see a suckers. We're not helping. So there were only four cars plus plank and not cars. Yeah. And then plank and Judy, um, I saw plank and Judy live. They were so plank.

[00:31:12] So good. Yeah. Yeah. So much. So plank, uh, plank and Judy do show up just in time. Did you say plank and Judy? I may have. I may have plank and Judy, uh, show up just in time to help, uh, with the lift. I think it's a Judy do show up and then show up. I got you. All right. I bet you he combined them. That doesn't sound like me. Um, and so they are, they do it, get out of here. But then it's like, what do we do with the rest of it?

[00:31:39] Well, Selena is actually capable of destroying anything she wants to. Yeah. Which destroys the rest of it. The movie, like get everyone off the planet. Sure. I think that is fair to ask of Xenon and the crew. I'll take care of the rest. They throw the dome into space. And now that's just hurtling around space. That's going to cause problems for somebody. Uh, and then Selena cleans up the rest of the structure. So like, why couldn't they just leave the dome? I feel like Selena. So maybe the wire wires got crossed somewhere.

[00:32:08] Surely, surely. So you're saying having one conversation with a mystical being was not enough to answer all the questions. Surely all they needed to do is get everybody to go. Like Selena could have taken care of the dome. Yeah. She could have taken care of the dome. Clearly. It was ridiculous. But anyway, then Selena waves goodbye. By the way, Selena's punk rock. I don't know if they mentioned that. Yeah, very just goth punk. Heck yeah. We love that. For 2054, that's outlandish. It's crazy. It was crazy. Yeah. Everything got like a green day. 2004 would fit right in probably. That's awesome. Yeah.

[00:32:37] Um, and so that's nice. But isn't the fact how like we think of like gods and goddesses as being from like a Roman empire. Are they, were they trying to do a callback of like. Like 50 years ago? Yeah. All right. I'll buy it. I mean, I don't know if we think of any gods like that came from 1974. No. I don't know. I don't know. I was just. But I liked the ice cream. It's a better defense than the movie deserves. I'll say that. I'm trying so hard. You are. Hey, listen, and you brought your best delish. Nobody can say you didn't try.

[00:33:06] You brought the literal best delish to the literal worst movie. I did say when we watched this movie that the best part of the episode would be the delish. And that was going to be if it was a bad delish. Yeah. And you know, I'll tell you if it's bad. This is the best one. You nailed it. We did it. The movie ends with Protozoa and Cosmic Blush. I also brought some RC Cola. Oh my God. I just, I would have, this has been the best day. Cosmic Blush and Protozoa perform a concert together. Doesn't even count as my Diet Coke and RC Cola is its own thing. It's different. It's its own thing. There's nothing diet about it.

[00:33:36] If it was a diet right. Right. I'd be in trouble. That's not wrong. That's not wrong. So Sage and Xenon. Leave us a review if you're still listening. Sage and Xenon, I think, become a thing. Do they kiss? I think they kiss. Well, they are front row at the concert. And then they scurry off. And they look at each other and hold hands and walk off. So we're like, yes. To the beach. They're doing, yeah. And then maybe they kiss. I know. I'm going to say they kiss. But they're on earth, right?

[00:34:06] They're on earth when that happens. So yeah, something I just thought about is the concert though that we see happens in the same venue. No, it doesn't. There's a couple different concerts. The last one where they leave is definitely on earth and it's not the same venue as earlier. But I see how you got there. Protozoa and Cosmic Blush do perform on the moon. Earlier on the moon. Yes. I felt like that venue was the same. But I believe it is. Well, it was built by the same company. So the stages might be similar. It could be. Yeah, who made the... Can I see the... Who are we? Can I see the green... The blueprints?

[00:34:35] They took Protozoa's bus back to earth but left him and Cosmic Blush on the moon. Reform. Yeah. Sager and Xenon. They're just probably still... Vand up together. Yeah. And then we find out that Pat Numbar is doing a new contest and he's going to colonize Mars. And so we get a final... There's no goddess. Yeah, we get a final line of, well, just remember that the goddess of Mars is the goddess of war. So if you thought Selina was tough...

[00:35:05] Stay tuned to Z forever. Z... That's not bad. Yeah. Well, we did it. Let's take a quick break. We'll come back. We'll read some reviews. We'll share our thoughts in the movie and we'll rank it here on... Decom Descendants! The main show. Not the Decom Daily Minute. Not the Daily Minute. Different show. Same feed. Same feed, different show. Different show. This is the main one. The main one. Big show. To get one main show a week and then it's surrounded by... That's right. And it's a Daily Minute.

[00:35:35] Is it weekdays? I think it's weekdays. So do you not release a Daily Minute on Fridays when the show comes out? No. No, you don't. Because we talk about it here. Yeah, we talk about it here. That's the one Daily Minute I'm a part of. Maybe give you the quick rundown of what happened. You guys can do the rest of the Daily Minute. Hey, welcome back everybody. It's time for Overtime. It's where we talk about how this movie aged over time. I have some Letterboxd reviews if you want them. Zachary says, I've never been so effing disgusted in my life. All right.

[00:36:00] Imagine replacing the actor who played Han Solo or Kane in Citizen Kane or Avatar in Avatar. That's what happened to Protozoa. I was with him until Avatar and Avatar. He doesn't understand, I don't think, what Avatar did. Belay me, says my dad was. Belay me? Belay me. Belay me. Belay me. Belay me. Belay me. Belay me. Belay me.

[00:36:26] My dad was genuinely upset that the catchphrase Zetus Lapidus was changed to Vega Omega. I was too. It's fair. I think we all were. Are you Belay me? I'm Belay me. Thank you very much. We missed you Belay me. Yeah. Anna says, the movie is about someone trying to declare squatters rights to the moon. They sure do. Shout out to them for doing that. Shout out. Alex Smith says, the moon is a cool punk girl. Phenomenal.

[00:36:55] Lisa, with a little alien face next to it, says, Newt Gingrich would hate prominent teen moon activist, Sage Borealis. And Connor Wilson says, one star, the worst movie to feature pod racing. Wow. Let's share our thoughts on it. That's a really, that's quite a, quite a move by him. I mean, he's right, but it's still funny. Aaron? Yeah. What'd you think of Z3? You're the Xenon defender. You love Xenon.

[00:37:24] After this, when we get to making the list, I want to know where Z2, the sequel is on your list. That's important to me. Just because of now I know how high you relatively speaking. Does that make sense? Go ahead. Do your thing. Mm-hmm. Yep. This was a movie that we watched. Like it's bad and it's not even like so bad.

[00:37:54] It's good. I do remember watching it when it came out. I was very excited about it. Also at the time, Ben Easter, who plays Sage Borealis, was in a lot of Mary Kate and Ashley projects, much like Billy Aaron Brown from last week's movie, Going to the Mat. And so I remember being excited because I knew him and was excited for him to be in this movie. And then upon the rewatch, he's not really in the movie.

[00:38:23] Like his scenes are so small. Yes. Yes. Um, and then when I was making graphics for the episode, he's not on any of the promotional material either. It's Dasha, Zenon and Bronly. Um, so I don't know. It just, it's like we made the comment while watching it. It's like they had to fulfill a contract requirement. Like Kristen had signed a three movie deal. Yeah. We threw it out there.

[00:38:51] Somebody edited it in Microsoft paint in 2004 and put it out there on the Disney channel. I don't know. I have so many questions. They want it to seem like there's so many space stations floating around in space because all the kids in the contest have to be space station kids. Um, say it again. Space day. I'm talking about plural. I'm not talking space days. Yep.

[00:39:21] You're getting real quick. Like Zenon space day was her. And I guess Margie after the second movie, Margie permanently moved to the space day. Cause she's in the race too. Um, space daces. But then like we, we, I was like thinking about how in the first movie we were talking about people on earth. Nothing had really changed. Like it could have been filmed now. You know, they're still in school. It was just, it just for being supposed to be in the future. Nothing was that different on earth.

[00:39:51] Um, the kids still had regular names. And so it caught me off guard that we've all of a sudden got Sage Borealis. Um, everyone has Pat number, but I mean like they're not like, no, I get it. Weirdly like, you know, her love interest in the first movie is Greg. Yeah. We went from Greg to Sage Borealis in a few years. And I, and so I was just a bit, but he is from earth. So why is his name Sage?

[00:40:20] Like it just, there were so many things that didn't make sense. There's a lot of ethical questions I have about everybody in this movie. Um, yeah, it's not weird to me that I watched the first one a lot and don't watch the second and third ones. Um, don't know if I'll ever watch this one again. Never say never. Never say never. Never say never.

[00:40:45] But it, maybe one day if I have a child and I hate her, I'll make her watch this movie. That's good. That's a good point. Well, she's a wild. I don't want her to have a good day. If she's a wild animal, pop her down and watch the TV. Yeah. If I want to crush her hopes and dreams. That's exactly right. Um, this movie isn't good.

[00:41:10] And I, I've wondered over the last year why Xenon is entire, like a bigger part of my memory. And I think as the more we watch Xenon movies, the more I understand, uh, that it just wasn't a thing that I enjoyed. And, uh, even though the first one is clearly the best of the three, it's still just like what I think about. I'm just like, yeah, I don't know.

[00:41:34] And so this movie is a very bad movie and it's a, uh, it is a, it's only going to affect the legacy of Xenon. Yeah. And, uh, everything that she stands for and represents. And so that's unfortunate. It is not, it is not good. Uh, but give Selena her own movie. I think she's a star. Uh, yeah, this is, I'm sorry. She's a moon. We, uh, moon god. She's not a star. Not a star planet. Moon.

[00:42:04] It's moon. Um, God. So we, there's a lot of things that go into how I rank these movies, because if you just rank the ones that are like filmmaking quality, the highest, you're not going to get the most entertaining movie. Some of these movies, very entertaining. Also very bad. Uh, this movie, not entertaining. Also very bad. It is. I, I, I'm pretty sure it's my least favorite.

[00:42:33] I I'm wrestling with the worst. This is my least favorites. D come. Um, I've watched so far. We've watched 50. This is my least favorite. Wow. Because. Wow. I think it's the shortest one at 79 minutes. It was 80 with the credits, 79 minutes of actual movie, 79 minutes. And I feel like it felt like the longest one.

[00:43:01] Um, so if a movie is 79 minutes and feels like the longest decom, that's a problem. I have no idea what happened in the second half of this movie. And I was watching. Uh, there's no reason this movie should exist. Kristen storms. Who's a genuine gosh, darn delight in the first Zenon. She looks like she'd rather be anywhere else than on the set, making this movie. Raven. Simone is in three scenes behind a green screen. She probably shot in a morning at a sound stage in between scenes of that.

[00:43:31] At a sound stage. No one is caring about what they're doing. The plot is nonsensical. So we're not caring. I, I hated this movie. And the first Zenon, when we saw it, I was like, this isn't for me, but this is a really good, like girl power, like a movie that you would show your daughter or even your son to be like, look, girls can do all the things guys can do. Now that I've seen at least five decoms make a better Zenon, like make better versions of that movie.

[00:44:01] At least five. That's probably low, low balling it. Zenon has moved down the list. Z two hurts Zenon. Z three, like guys, I'm not going to be a good one. No one here is giving it their best. No one. And I know that that sounds really, really mean, but it just is a slog. There's nothing to recommend here. I think the person doing the most in this movie is Dasha. Yes. She's charming. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's fine. When I say no one, I'm that's probably wrong.

[00:44:31] No, I mean, I was just thinking about it cause I agreed with you and then I was like, Oh yeah. Anyone that was in the first two movies is just doing this out of contractual obligation. They would rather be anywhere else. It's a, it's brutal. It's a brutal watch. Please do not watch. Don't watch it. Unless you are Aaron's daughter and she's having a terrible day and she's mad at you. That's right. Yeah. Oh, let's get to our thoughts and the rankings and where it's going to end up.

[00:44:58] Can we, can we say where we put all three Xenon movies? Yeah. Just cause I'm curious. Aaron, you go first. Okay. Um, so on letterbox when you add a movie to a list, it automatically adds it at the end. 50. That's right. And for a minute I thought, yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe.

[00:45:27] Um, but then I, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. Did move up a little bit just because I feel like I could put this movie on like, have it playing in the background and I could like take a nap or go do something else. And it wouldn't be distracting, like perfect background noise. There are a couple other DCOMs that I didn't like, that I just don't ever want to be on again because I would get distracted.

[00:45:55] it and that doesn't really make any sense but I was like I could put this movie on and forget about it. So it is debuting at 43 on my list. 43? Alright Z3. So just ahead of the Jenny Project. That monkey's wild. It's just behind the Jenny Project on my list. Mine's ahead of Jenny just behind Sep's sister from Planet Weird. Wow. Also

[00:46:24] right next to mine too. What about Zequel? Zeenon the Zequel is at 38 ahead of True Confessions. So only a hair worse than the Zequel. 38 to 43. Yeah. Okay. So Zeenon the Zequel is in between Jumping Ship and True Confessions. Oh, Jumping Ship. And Zeenon the original is at 15. 15. Okay. So that's

[00:46:53] that all checks out. 15 like one of the better ones your fave and then the other two way down in the bottom. Top 10? Oh yeah, that's right. We gotta do that. Any change? No change. So we still have the Scream Team, Miracle in Lane 2, Get a Clue, Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-Off, Phantom of the Megaplex, Smart House, Johnny Tsunami, Right on Track with Beverly Mitchell. It's the race player. Right on track. Right on track. I will not ask three weeks in a row,

[00:47:23] but thank you for that primer just in case. Cadet Kelly and the number one motocross. Did you say primer? I did say primer. Yes. Is that a way to say that? Yeah, primer is like a... I thought it was primer. No, primer is something you paint on a wall. A primer is... I've never heard primer before. Really? Yeah. The first school books were called primers. Yeah, I mean, I understand the context. I just feel like I have Z3 at 45. It's ahead of Rip Girls

[00:47:52] for what that's worth, but behind Hounded. I got Zequal at 41, which is ahead of Horsense, but right behind Can of Worms. And then I got Zine on the Z. Just the OG. The OG. The first Z. At 29. 29. It's moved out again, everybody. Ahead of Ultimate Christmas Present, behind Stepsister from Planet Weird. I liked it more.

[00:48:22] Top 10. Luck of the Irish. Phantom. Miracle. Sorry. Four quote miracle. Different miracle. Miracle. Different miracle. Same God. Same God. Amen. Smart House. At 7. Eddie is at 6. Cadet Kelly at 5. Get a Clue at 4. Motocrossed at 3. Johnny Thunami at number 2. And the greatest movie of all time. Brink at number 1. I've got Z3 at 50. I did the same thing you did, Aaron.

[00:48:51] When it showed up at 50, I was like, yeah, I think so. And then I was like, no. And I got in here and I realized that the Zequal is 45 for me. And so I only had four movies worse than the Zequal. And then I was like, this movie is way worse than the Zequal to me. One. And then two, The Jenny Project, which I had at last, and then Stepsister from Planet Weird, I think that both of those are, they're bad, bad. They're better movies than this.

[00:49:21] This movie is a combination of non-entertaining and no one trying. I can point to someone trying in the lead cast in both of those movies. And I just feel like this movie deserves some sort of consequence. Like, I feel like it, if Xenon, which I have at 21, is like still a movie that I'm like, I get why people like that when it came out. And the Zequal dropped all the way to 45. I had to put it at 50. It's at 50 right now. That makes sense. I do think, I agree with you, like The Jenny Project and some of those other movies

[00:49:50] that we both have down in that area, I think are qualitatively better movies. But because they're trying and failing, that's where it lost it for me. They're actively bad. This is passively bad. This one is just like, I could put this, like this might become my new nap movie where I put it on to fall asleep. Yeah. Because it matters so little. Top 10. Kristen Storms, if you're listening, I'm so sorry. Shut up. Top 10. I know you're listening. Miracle in Lane 2. Full Court Miracle.

[00:50:20] Scream Team. Get a Clue. Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-Off. Cadet Kelly. Phantom of the Megaplex. Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire. Johnny Tsunami. And the best DCOM. I'm starting to think it's not going to be beaten. Motocross. That's all I got. Oh, we're still early yet. We're still early. 50 in. Still early. We're a third of the way through, right? It's still early. Like 150 of these bad boys? Yeah, we're a third of the way through. We're still early. We did it. What are we doing next week? What is it? We are headed to the Burbs. Are we going to be,

[00:50:50] are you, we're going to be stuck there? We're getting stuck in the suburbs, baby. Brenda Song, Daniel Panabaker, Taron Killam. Taron Killam? Like Saturday Night Live, Taron Killam? Yeah. Yes. Yeah, man. And I'm saying this now so that hopefully when we watch this movie next week, I remember that it's Taron Killam because every time I do watch this movie, I forget that it's Taron until the end credits come on. I hope he sings. Is this like before he's on SNL? Yeah. He's like, he's like, he's a baby Taron Killam. Okay.

[00:51:20] Because now he kind of pops up on High Potential occasionally and I don't recognize him. Yeah. Like, that catches me off guard too when he's on High Potential, but like in a different spectrum, it's because like when he's on High Potential, he's got like the beard. But on this one, he is like clean shaven, frosted tips. Like he looks like a young. Got it. Whereas when I think of Taron Killam, I'm like SNL. That's right. Yeah. I'm excited about it. I'm excited about it. What a cast. What a cast. Boy. What a cast. Very excited about it.

[00:51:50] So coming back next week, it's going to be a good one. And then stay tuned all next week for the D-Cum Daily Minute. It's going to really, it's definitely, it's going to take the world by, it's going to take the storm. Let's take the storm by rage. Until next time. D-Cum. D-Cum right now. Take that Disney. D-Cum Descendants is a Bramble Jam podcast. D-Cum's not taking, Disney's not taking anything. I want to be very clear. It's produced by Brandon Gray at the Bramble Jam Network Studios in Greenville, South Carolina.

[00:52:18] Leave us a review on the socials. We are at D-Cum Descendants on the web. D-Cum podcast.com. Leave us a review. Apple podcast. D-Cum Daily Minute starting next week per brand. I will not be there. See you guys. Come on back. Oh man. You're about to hear some ads that help keep the lights on here in the old studio. Thanks for listening or don't listen. It's really up to you at this point.

[00:52:48] It's at the end of the show. I mean, you're listening to me. Hi. But here they come. I promise they're coming. Yep. Here they are. Happy day.